Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on Jan 14, 2007 14:42:05 GMT
2006
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...HELLOOO!...bottles won't fit in printer.
March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2 - 4 years"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out.
May- Tried to make Kool-Aid - wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into that little packet.
June- Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stoke swimming competition...learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.
August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm...car swamped because soft-top was open.
September- The capital of California is "C", isn't it?
October- Hate M&M's - they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!
December - Couldn't dial 911- duh - there's no eleven on the stupid phone.
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Post by On da rink on Feb 16, 2007 1:15:36 GMT
I'm going ice fishing!
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.
So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
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