The ghost train

[excoriator]

Our poor dog is now pretty incontinent and has to be let out at 20 minute intervals through the night. I do the first shift to 3 a.m. and Mrs E does the second. I've been watching creaky old Ealing movies in the inter pee periods. A lot are quite watchable.

But I watched this movie last night. It stars Arthur Askey (remember him). I found it unremarkable except for Askey who was embarrassingly bad. Loud and irritating and about as funny as a bad case of athlete's foot. I was surprised his fellow starts didn't throttle him in the first five minutes.

Of course I know tastes change, particularly in humour, but I really cannot see why anyone would find him in any way amusing. I have vague memories of hearing him on the radio as a child (Thet's me as a child not him) and thought he was not very funny then either.

I expect you have this film on file Aubrey and might have seen it. If not, I really can't recommend it. I suppose it was a wartime film and maybe that didn't help, but even so. Any recommendations by the way? I watched 'A Kid for two Farthings' the other night which took some stamina. Standing in the dark waiting for the dog to do her thing became something to look forward to.

[aubrey]

I've seen it - you're not going to catch me there. I agree though; the Arthur Askey character seems to have a kind of compulsion to make bad jokes all the time, even when everyone else in the room is almost ready to kill him over it: he loses his hat through pissing about, then stops the train to run back and fetch it, making everyone else lose their connection: and still he can't shut up.

You know the original play was written by Godfrey from Dad's Army? He only went into Dad's Army because he had sold the copyright years before it had made any money and he had nothing to live on. I think there were a few films made of it - and it's pretty much the plot of every Scooby Do episode ever, with a train instead of a caretaker - so it did make something in the end, but not for him.


I have heard some Askey's stuff with Stinker Murdoch, where they were supposed to be living on top of the BBC, and I've enjoyed that. You really have to be in the mood though; at his best he's just daft, but the humour of Ghost Train is imposing and aggressive, more of a power play than anything.

(And yes, I do have a copy of the film.)

[jonjel]

Some, but by no means all 'celebs' when you meet them in real life are a pain in the arse. I had the misfortune to meet Arthur Askey many years ago and he was not a nice man. Far worse was Wilfred Pickles and I had the misfortune to share an hotel with him and his entourage. At one stage I asked politely if they would be a little less noisy. Some idiot asked me 'don't you know who that is?' and I told him that what I was seeing was a loud mouthed rude and obnoxious person who could not hold his drink. He was an arrogant shit but liked to portray on radio that he was such a nice kind man. That said I was young and did not take too many prisoners in those days.

However prof Brian Cox is one of the most pleasant people one could ever meet. Takes all sorts.

[excoriator]

There is something of Askey in Norman Wisdom - another individual I can't stand.

I believe he goes down well in Armenia or somewhere, where he appears under a pseudonym. Is it Pitkin or something? The attitude seems to be "I'm really trying to be liked. You HAVE to like me however irritating I am"

Incidentally I think it was Tommy Handley who lived in a flat above the BBC. I have some memory of him on the radio and found him quite funny as a boy. I think Stinker Murdoch (Why stinker??) was a frequent visitor if not a fellow occupant. I enjoyed the exchanges between Handley and Mrs Mop, the charlady. "Can I do yer nah, sir?" was her catch phrase, greeted with delight by the audience.

[aubrey]

I did hear one with Arthur Askey one time. They lived above the DG's flat, and let their kettle down the chimney to boil it on the DG's fire for their tea.

Wiki:

In 1938 the BBC teamed Murdoch with Arthur Askey in the radio series Band Waggon, where they were soon billed as "Richard ('Stinker') Murdoch and "'Big-hearted' Arthur Askey". The smooth West End style of Murdoch contrasted with the down-to-earth humour of Askey, whose background was in seaside concert parties. Their main slot in the weekly show took up only about ten minutes, but caught the public imagination. They were depicted as occupying a flat on top of Broadcasting House. Took comments that their humour was a forerunner of much radio comedy to come:
… the fantasy of their living in Broadcasting House, and the creation of such mythical characters as Mrs Bagwash the charlady and her daughter Nausea and their pet animals, a goat called Lewis, and two pigeons Basil and Lucy, preceded ITMA and Hancock's Half Hour and was a strong influence on many nascent comedy scriptwriters.[1]

Towards the end of 1938, after two series on the BBC, Band Waggon became a stage show. The impresario Jack Hylton presented the two stars and a supporting cast in a show that toured the provincial music-halls and finished with a run at the London Palladium in 1939. The Observer commented that they worked so well together because "they find the same things funny. Each has a special line of humour that sets the other going"

I don't know why "Stinker" though; it's a public school thing, isn't it? - I've just checked, and it is a reference to him having gone to a public school and sounding like it.

[jonjel]

How is the hound Eco? Anything the vets can do to make her a bit more comfortable in her declining years?

[excoriator]

Apart from having to pee every 20 minutes with occasional pink or red drips in it she seems OK for the time being. Eating well and looking much as normal. I don't think there is much the vet can do for her really. We have some anti-irritant that she get in her food which she seems to like but that's the only medication. She still likes a walk, and is happy to settle down with us to watch ancient repeats of 'Vera' a series she seems to like keeping a paw on the plot with a knowledgeable air, or keep my feet warm under the desk whilst farting companionably. Hopefully she is not in too much discomfort.

I would like to ask the vet 'how long' but I'm afraid of upsetting Mrs E.

[jonjel]

I know exactly where you are at Exco. In hindsight I kept my last old boy going for maybe a year more than I should, but could not bear the thought of life without him. He was 16 when he went, a pretty good age for a Setter or any big dog. ow old is your old girl? The problem with life is you tend to outlive a lot of fabulous dogs.

[aubrey]

Sept 21, 2020 11:35:53 GMT jonjel said:

I know exactly where you are at Exco. In hindsight I kept my last old boy going for maybe a year more than I should, but could not bear the thought of life without him. He was 16 when he went, a pretty good age for a Setter or any big dog. ow old is your old girl? The problem with life is you tend to outlive a lot of fabulous dogs.

For one day you are here
And the next you are gone
Every horse has its year
And every dog its day, my son
So the only thing to feel sad about is
All the dogs and the horses you'll have to outlive
They'll be with you when you say good-bye

Goodbye...

But as the curtains close and the last prayers are said
All my dogs and my horses appear round my bed
They have come to say one last goodbye
Goodbye

Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)

[skylark]

The poem that always moves me to tears is this:

poets.org/poem/power-dog

So sorry about your old dog, Exco.

[aubrey]

I want him to have another living summer
to lie in the sun and enjoy the douceur de vivre -
because the sun, like golden rum in a rummer,
is what makes an idle cat un tout petit peu ivre -

I want him to lie stretched out, contented,
revelling in the heat, his fur all dry and warm,
an Old Age Pensioner, retired, resented
by no one, and happinesses in a beelike swarm

to settle on him, postponed for another season
that last fated hateful journey to the vet
from which there is no return (and age the reason),
which must soon come - as I cannot forget.

(Gavin Ewart)