Bathroom locks in Ambridge

[excoriator]

Having listened to the alcoholic Alice having an attack of DTs whilst being locked in the bathroom by husband Chris - yes, this is Ambridge where such events are relatively common - I marvelled at the fact that the lock on the bathroom door in chez Carter, seems to be fitted the wrong way round.

Generally it is the person in the bathroom who is able to lock people out rather than the other way around.

A small detail that hardly detracted from the fun.

I look forward to the revelation of the white slavery racket that caused the explosion in Grey Gables kitchen.

I wonder what Dan and Doris would have made of all these goings on, when the main concern seemed to be completing form 102/b-45C subsection 37c "How many sheep do you own?". Does this include pregnant ewes? Don't these people in offices realise you can't count them in the womb?

[aubrey]

That is a bizarre mistake to have made.

[aubrey]

There's a film - School for Scoundrels - in which Ian Carmichael is changing buses on Lambeth Palace Road just by the bridge. It bothers me whenever I see it that there's no way he could be changing there, if he's going on to the city, since every route he's changing from would be as good or better than the one he's catching. I tell myself that the film is set in an alternative world in which the layout of London and its bus routes are completely different, and I manage with that.

It would not work with reversed bathroom door locks though.

[jonjel]

I used to be a compulsive Archers listener, though not much so of late. And it amuses me as a country boy to hear some of the awful mistakes they make, and occasional gaffes.

Like Dan coming in from the yard and saying 'We are up to our necks in it out there' and the mental picture that produced.

And the occasional grunt when they are feeding the pigs. Anyone who has ever fed pigs needs ear plugs.

Sanitised farming I think, as anyone who has been lambing on a freezing winters night with the only protection being a few straw bales will tell you.

There was a sign on one of my friends office walls which said 'The Archers do it for 15 minutes a day, and for an hour on a Sunday morning, dum te dum te dum te dum'

And someone had written underneath 'And xxxx listens to them doing it' which I though was pretty amusing.

But when all is said and done, it is all pretty harmless, as we wait for the next sensation in the village. We have had robbery arson suicide and every type of crime and minority interest. Not sure if we have had murder yet.

[excoriator]

The one I treasure most was Pru Forrest. She was Uncle Tom's wife (The gamekeeper, not the much abused negro) and I think the actress died or left in a huff so she played a virtual part for about 15 years, never uttering a word herself but making her presence felt indirectly "Pru doen't think we've made the right choice to open the fete..." etc.

Eventually, the poor woman had a stroke, and there was much sympathy and hand wringing from the cast, until I think it was Jill archer volunteered "At least she hasn't lost the power of speech!"

I think they lost their audience at that point. I was certainly helpless for minutes.

[aubrey]

Nov 19, 2020 15:31:23 GMT jonjel said:

I used to be a compulsive Archers listener, though not much so of late. And it amuses me as a country boy to hear some of the awful mistakes they make, and occasional gaffes.

Like Dan coming in from the yard and saying 'We are up to our necks in it out there' and the mental picture that produced.

And the occasional grunt when they are feeding the pigs. Anyone who has ever fed pigs needs ear plugs.

Sanitised farming I think, as anyone who has been lambing on a freezing winters night with the only protection being a few straw bales will tell you.

There was a sign on one of my friends office walls which said 'The Archers do it for 15 minutes a day, and for an hour on a Sunday morning, dum te dum te dum te dum'

And someone had written underneath 'And xxxx listens to them doing it' which I though was pretty amusing.

But when all is said and done, it is all pretty harmless, as we wait for the next sensation in the village. We have had robbery arson suicide and every type of crime and minority interest. Not sure if we have had murder yet.

There was that bloke who fell off a tower that someone had built in the village - someone worked out from the length of the scream that it was so many hundreds of feet high, no mention of it since though. Was he pushed though?

[aubrey]

What a terribly written post that is though. Still, rather than spend 5 minutes doing it again I'll just apologise for it.

[excoriator]

That was Nigel Pargitter (sp?) husband of Elizabeth and Scion of Lower Loxley. He fell off the roof in an ill advised attempt to remove some decorations.

He gave the "Aaaaaaaaaaargh" in the script his full-throated all, allowing fans with stopwatches and a little knowledge of physics the ability to establish the height of the roof of this country pile.

From memory, it came out at about 150 metres. Pretty impressive really for a stately home. Probably a modest 40 or 50 storeys.

We Archers fans are accomplished at accommodating large adjustments in our imagined scale, however. The Bull is about the size of Buckingham palace, for instance, and Brookfields is twenty London busses long.

[jonjel]

I like the way they have been out toiling for hours in the freezing rain and mud and then come in all cheerful for a bacon sandwich!

[excoriator]

Time, I think, to do something about Jill Archer's cake obsession too. It seems to be developing into a form of OCD or addiction.

Alice is to go to a detox clinic. Maybe Jill could go too, if they can handle the demon cake as well as the demon drink.