Pizzology

[guy]

sandywinder said:

Yes Guy it is obvious that you have well-rounded personality with a good sense of humour.

The shredded cheese formation indicates a scatterbrained kind of person without much joined up thinking.

As your eyes are a little too close together I would suggest that at some point you have had a run-in with the law.

The lack of much nasal formation suggests you are a little on the gullible side in not being able to smell out when you are being conned.

Please send £10 for a full horoscope.

Sandy,

Uncanny! Have we met? Can anyone learn the skills involved in giving a reading or is it a gift?

Before I send my £10 off, just a few more questions: -

1) When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, is that really amore?
2) Is this a branch of Pastastrology?

[Pepperoni]

£10 is quite reasonable considering the amount of grated cheese he chucks on top.

Don't put on garlic in Gargoyles..I don't want my members t flee in terror!

[sandywinder]

guy said:

sandywinder said:

Yes Guy it is obvious that you have well-rounded personality with a good sense of humour.

The shredded cheese formation indicates a scatterbrained kind of person without much joined up thinking.

As your eyes are a little too close together I would suggest that at some point you have had a run-in with the law.

The lack of much nasal formation suggests you are a little on the gullible side in not being able to smell out when you are being conned.

Please send £10 for a full horoscope.

Sandy,

Uncanny! Have we met? Can anyone learn the skills involved in giving a reading or is it a gift?

Before I send my £10 off, just a few more questions: -

1) When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, is that really amore?
2) Is this a branch of Pastastrology?

1. No, that's Global Warming gone mad.
2. No it's a branch of the pizza tree from which pizza bases are plucked when ripe.

[ACNE CO]

Don't you mean 'Pizza Faces are plucked when ripe'?

[kipper]

I'm impressed, Sandy.
What do you see in my Pizza ? Am I in touch with my feminine side?

[sandywinder]

kipper said:

I'm impressed, Sandy.
What do you see in my Pizza ? Am I in touch with my feminine side?

Your feelings run deep.
The shape of the pizza suggests someone seeking love and attention and somewhere to place that love.
And the ruddiness of the pizza indicates someone who is well-read.
You tend to overdo things.
Learn to chill out.


Now here's one I've done for Daz.




You face the pressure of a ticking clock and feel unable to take your time. Yet the more you hurry, the more you are likely to make mistakes. Why do we create such stressful situations for ourselves? Because we secretly enjoy feeling stressed. We get taught lessons we could never learn in any other way. There is no doubt that you are about to attain something worthwhile. But you cannot be sure of enjoying yourself unless you relax a little. And you NEED to enjoy yourself. It's essential. You can listen to my helpful, reassuring 5 minute spoken forecast (for the reasonable price of £9.99)

[kipper]

Blimey ! Mystic Sandy - that's uncanny.
Your pie skills are the talk of Gotham Newtown

Where can I send my £9.99 ?

Do you do lectures and private readings ? I'm willing to bring along a camping stove and cook a pizza, live, so that the reading is fresh. Do you think there's anything I can discover by analysing my garlic bread and salad?

[Daz Madrigal]

Sandy's obviously carving out a new career for himself (between gobbling down Pizza slices). Which explains why his readings are brief and to the point.,nowt worse than cold pizza.
Cold readings are useless!

It is of course based on early Saxon mythology. The first readings ended in disaster after King Alfred the Great burnt the Cakes..this was taken as a dire omen - particularly after the Danes razed Saxon villages to the ground.

Do you do a delivery service, Sandy?

PS. Mel and myself would be happy to become business partners...our Mobile Tea leaf Readings ( known as Tasseomancy) suffered a huge blow after the advent of tea bags.



Mel..hard at work as always.


by the way. Sandy..a good fortune teller never tell his own fortune therefore I took the liberty of reading yours.



I'd check all plug fittings

My psychic antennae is strongly suggesting to me that you are suffering from several loose connections.

Listen to your Inner Voice

If its choking on smoke fumes whilst screaming 'Fire!' get some fresh air for once.

In fact get as much fresh air as possible but leave the laptop at home. You need to unclutter your mind and contemplate more..and leave me and Mel to take over the running of the business.

I can see an opening here...yes the pizzas perfect this time!

[Daz Madrigal]

kipper said:

Blimey ! Mystic Sandy - that's uncanny.
Your pie skills are the talk of Gotham Newtown

Where can I send my £9.99 ?

Do you do lectures and private readings ? I'm willing to bring along a camping stove and cook a pizza, live, so that the reading is fresh. Do you think there's anything I can discover by analysing my garlic bread and salad?

Send it to 'Simple Simon the Pieman'.

[Daz Madrigal]

sandywinder said:

kipper said:

Now here's one I've done for Daz.




You face the pressure of a ticking clock and feel unable to take your time. Yet the more you hurry, the more you are likely to make mistakes. Why do we create such stressful situations for ourselves? Because we secretly enjoy feeling stressed. We get taught lessons we could never learn in any other way. There is no doubt that you are about to attain something worthwhile. But you cannot be sure of enjoying yourself unless you relax a little. And you NEED to enjoy yourself. It's essential. You can listen to my helpful, reassuring 5 minute spoken forecast (for the reasonable price of £9.99)

Would those mistakes be anything to do with spelling and grammar.

Yes its spot on. It should be after 3 years of constant posting!

Its the keyboards fault, Sandy..I bought a cheap make that can't spell and hasn't any punctuation keys.

ps. don't rush thngs..thats excellent advice. I'm a convert to Pizzology..its just a pity that your phone lines permanently engaged with eager mugs clients.

[sandywinder]

It appears I have created a monster with this pizzology business.

I have just been given a commission to investigate Piccione's chart.

Needless to say it is a long-winded one.



It may take some time.

[Daz Madrigal]

I'd be a lot happier for any tips on Gargoyles Pizza.

So far we've got somewhat inscrutable (a Chinese flavored topping?) a person who likes to work behind the scenes (just in case you need a dishwasher, Sandy) yet reliable, consistent but somewhat inflexible. (prefers a fairly solid pizza base).

Er.. now get to work whilst I have another slurp of wine - I'm your inspiration!..rhe flair!, thee man with thee 'elan'. The Marco Pierre White to your Ainsley Harriot!

[Daz Madrigal]

kipper said:

Blimey ! Mystic Sandy - that's uncanny.
Your pie skills are the talk of Gotham Newtown

Where can I send my £9.99 ?

Once I finalise the partnership - preferably to my good self, Kip.

[Daz Madrigal]

Everytime I logon the times almost spot on, Sandy, whilst the computer clock seems to be fairly accurate but only if one were living in California.

Sadly there doesnt seem to be much prgress until the precise time I log off. Now you've missed a trick there..you could have had a spinning 3rd hand and a more accurate measure.

Now we're in partnership I've taken the bold step of contacting Rolex in the hope of making more dough.

Aye thank you.

[piccione]

////I have just been given a commission to investigate Piccione's chart.

Needless to say it is a long-winded one.////

I don't know Sands - it looks pretty /straight/ forward to me. ;D