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Post by piccione on Apr 30, 2007 11:34:53 GMT
…in an environmentally friendly manner. After Sheryl Crow’s call for a ban on toilet paper (…well - restriction to ‘one sheet per restroom visit’) err experts are now developing strategies as to how to use one sheet most effectively.... politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.thespeciousreport.com/news.aspx%3Fnewsnum=7070007I think this still ain’t good enough. Why the hell use any paper at all? What a waste! A bit of water splashing would surely do the trick… Ah hang on - water is a valuable resource and should not be wasted. Nope - one sheet of paper it is then.... Any responsible parent should familiarise themselves with this new procedure at once and (re)train their kids. I have locked away all toilet paper in our household in order to avoid misuse, and now give out daily rations based on weekly average ‘restroom visits’. I have asked my partner to keep a diary. I have also ordered a CCTV camera, but for the time being I do regular checks on him to make sure he doesn’t cheat by using newspaper pages. |
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Post by piccione on Apr 30, 2007 11:41:42 GMT
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard 
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on Apr 30, 2007 12:12:53 GMT
Use Tinyurl as well as tiny strips of loo paper.
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Post by Pink Betty on Apr 30, 2007 12:23:55 GMT
is it just me - but i don't want to know how anyone wipes their arse. Soon they won't have those hot air hand dryers in public loos - we'll be asked to provide our own  - that really would be the last straw! |
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on Apr 30, 2007 12:35:48 GMT
I gave thee link a miss, Mel...I'm the type of person who adopts a Kenneth Williams type of horror of such things yet can't stop talking about it.
Odd fellow..both of them.
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sandywinder
Madrigal Member
Holistic Philosopher
The private sector makes boxes, the public sector ticks them
Posts: 16,929
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Post by sandywinder on Apr 30, 2007 13:17:55 GMT
I thought the the one sheet rule was for the other orifice.
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Post by piccione on Apr 30, 2007 17:45:19 GMT
////is it just me - but i don't want to know how anyone wipes their arse.////
Oh you don’t know half of it pinkmel. I wasn’t going to mention the details, but since you are curious:
In order to establish whether a special request for extra supplies is justified, I need detailed ‘recordings’ of the ‘output’s’ err…profile. In urgent cases I accept photographic evidence.
I also should have mentioned that we are part-taking in a pilot project. It wasn’t meant to go live throughout the UK until 2010. But since it has been so successful and well received, the date has now been brought forward I think.
Anyway look forward to getting to know your family....inside out.
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Post by Pink Betty on Apr 30, 2007 19:03:10 GMT
;D it is the weirdest coincidence...this very morn i was at a warehouse and a bloke came in - did his some business and left, exclaiming over his shoulder that soon the Council would want a permit for every time you went to the loo ( he didn't say loo - i think he may have said have a CR@P  ) |
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Post by piccione on Apr 30, 2007 19:45:18 GMT
///....exclaiming over his shoulder that soon the Council would want a permit for every time you went to the loo////
Little does he know......
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Post by motorist on Apr 30, 2007 23:05:52 GMT
In order to establish whether a special request for extra supplies is justified, I need detailed ‘recordings’ of the ‘output’s’ err…profile. In urgent cases I accept photographic evidence. Reminds me of my final year project at Uni - (writing a program to diagnose constipation). To get data for testing, I had to give people I knew journals to fill in... detauils of their visits. No surprise I called them "log books" ;D |
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sandywinder
Madrigal Member
Holistic Philosopher
The private sector makes boxes, the public sector ticks them
Posts: 16,929
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Post by sandywinder on May 1, 2007 9:22:11 GMT
////is it just me - but i don't want to know how anyone wipes their arse.//// Oh you don’t know half of it pinkmel. I wasn’t going to mention the details, but since you are curious: In order to establish whether a special request for extra supplies is justified, I need detailed ‘recordings’ of the ‘output’s’ err…profile. In urgent cases I accept photographic evidence. I also should have mentioned that we are part-taking in a pilot project. I've always wondered this. Why are pilots always the guinea pigs? |
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on May 1, 2007 15:54:16 GMT
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on May 1, 2007 15:55:53 GMT
////is it just me - but i don't want to know how anyone wipes their arse.//// Oh you don’t know half of it pinkmel. I wasn’t going to mention the details, but since you are curious: In order to establish whether a special request for extra supplies is justified, I need detailed ‘recordings’ of the ‘output’s’ err…profile. In urgent cases I accept photographic evidence. I also should have mentioned that we are part-taking in a pilot project. I've always wondered this. Why are pilots always the guinea pigs?  Obviously because they can't escape by opening the door. |
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Post by piccione on May 1, 2007 20:02:49 GMT
///No surprise I called them "log books"///
You should have squeezed 'bog' in there somehow.
Bog log blogs...?
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Post by piccione on May 1, 2007 20:09:35 GMT
////Why are pilots always the guinea pigs?////
Because they are ‘naturally’ equipped with the relevant skills for challenging tasks such as this one....
(Career guide for pilots)
1. Controlling operations of equipment or systems.
2. Adjusting actions in relation to others' actions.
3. Watching gauges, dials, or other indicators to make sure a machine is working properly.
4. Considering the relative costs and benefits of potential actions to choose the most appropriate one.
5. Giving full attention to what other people are saying, taking time to understand the points being made, asking questions as appropriate, and not interrupting at inappropriate times.
6. Identifying measures or indicators of system performance and the actions needed to improve or correct performance, relative to the goals of the system.
7. Understanding written sentences and paragraphs in work related documents.
8. Using logic and reasoning to identify the strengths and weaknesses of alternative solutions, conclusions or approaches to problems.
[Err you can chill now Sands. Point 8 -or absence of it- excludes you from /ever/ being asked to participate in a pilot project...]
9. Teaching others how to do something.
10. Monitoring/Assessing performance of yourself, other individuals, or organizations to make improvements or take corrective action.
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