FOOTIE/BALDY and da bootiful game

[kipper]

England 3 Russia 0

Apparently McClaren is now a Football God ! His "remarkable" tactical switcheroo has made him the new hero.

Facts (well they should be!)

1) McClaren is a Baldy knumbskull. The tactics to rope in old timers out of depreation, is pure vintage Venables.
2) Heskey is a good old horse of a physique - but is not our saviour.
3) As soon as Rooney can limp/catch a bus onto/crawl onto the pitch; Slaphead McClaren will play him

4) Gerrard's diguise has to be revealed. Stephen is, in fact, a tetchy 14 year old teenage girl going through puberty. This explains the drab expression, occassional flashes of effort, but general moody performance in everything. From cleaning up his room, doing his homework, or kicking the ball in a straight line.
Gerrard is a liability.

5) Pennent, Lennon etc can actually run - and quite fast - often in the right direction too...towards the opponent's goal.

6) Crouch can only do one job - nodding down in the 6 yard box. That is probably not enough of a CV to win any sort of grown-up match.

7) Terry, Ferdinand et al, despite the odd sleepy-time match, are the reason England survive, most of the time.

8) Gerrard went on a long country walk once ...and was desperate for a pee, but didn't go in the bushes. That's about all he knows, when it comes to "holding in the mid field"
Gerrard is a liability ... opps already said that.

9) Sven was quite good, 'cos he had more than a BTech (pass) in woodwork. He got bored in the end though.... and run out of staff to schtup.


"Batty" Sheepskin
Touchline
Cavenham United

[kipper]

Mourinho has been "let go" by Chelsea.... or he has left by "mutual agreement" . As his successor was shipped in as assistant a short while ago - it looks loke a planned sacking from Bat Towers.

I'm with Mourinho ('cos he's fun) but his skills aren't especially proven as exceptional ... he had all the cash you could want and still didn't build a world beater.

But

This is the fun you will always get when arrogant owners want to play Football Manager 2007, for real. This must be especially true of a dodgy Russian Oligarch who has moved his dosh out of Russia before he's caught counting it by the Gov.

Abramovich has got used to having his own way in everyday life ... having the manager of his "little trinket" play up and talk back to him, must've been a shock.

International Rich Kids ... they're a right laugh, 'ent they ?


Late News:
Shares in Frank Lampard Ltd. have dropped 57% at market opening. Stockbrokers suspect a speculator may snap up Lampard and Shevchneko Inc for less than a 60 pence postal order.



"Batty" Sheepskin
Touchline
Cavenham United

[sandywinder]

kipper said:

England 3 Russia 0

Apparently McClaren is now a Football God ! His "remarkable" tactical switcheroo has made him the new hero.

Facts (well they should be!)

1) McClaren is a Baldy knumbskull. The tactics to rope in old timers out of depreation, is pure vintage Venables.
2) Heskey is a good old horse of a physique - but is not our saviour.
3) As soon as Rooney can limp/catch a bus onto/crawl onto the pitch; Slaphead McClaren will play him

4) Gerrard's diguise has to be revealed. Stephen is, in fact, a tetchy 14 year old teenage girl going through puberty. This explains the drab expression, occassional flashes of effort, but general moody performance in everything. From cleaning up his room, doing his homework, or kicking the ball in a straight line.
Gerrard is a liability.

5) Pennent, Lennon etc can actually run - and quite fast - often in the right direction too...towards the opponent's goal.

6) Crouch can only do one job - nodding down in the 6 yard box. That is probably not enough of a CV to win any sort of grown-up match.

7) Terry, Ferdinand et al, despite the odd sleepy-time match, are the reason England survive, most of the time.

8) Gerrard went on a long country walk once ...and was desperate for a pee, but didn't go in the bushes. That's about all he knows, when it comes to "holding in the mid field"
Gerrard is a liability ... opps already said that.

9) Sven was quite good, 'cos he had more than a BTech (pass) in woodwork. He got bored in the end though.... and run out of staff to schtup.


"Batty" Sheepskin
Touchline
Cavenham United

Gerrard is the best player England have by a long chalk even with a broken foot. And Crouch is quite good with his feet for a big lad. Heskey always gets 'injured' after about 65 minutes. He can't do the whole 90.

[kipper]

SANDY PARDEW: "Gerrard is the best player England have by a long chalk even with a broken foot.

Have you lost your specs again?
Did you see him in the last 5 matches?
Gerrard is past his prime. He's a club player and can't hadle the flights.
Have you seen him in his own half? He should work for the National Lottery, he gives away so much. What a turn on the ball ! I've seen tighter turns by a 5 foot mum in a 20' 4WDrive on the school run.
He only has one mode - clumping a straight line to the goal. Oh look! It's a Blue Moon ... one of them might go in! .... He thinks a wing is something you get at KFC.
No wonder he and Lampard weren't the dream combination; they run at the penalty area like a fat bloke who's just been told it's a free buffet.
Stephen's taken some juicy corners too - I've seen more pace at the post office pension queue.

Best England footballer ? Don't think so. I've seen some old film of Jimmy Greaves, and he looked amazing. In the living world:
1) Gazza - fat, drunk, shared a brain cell with Vinny Jones. Unrealiable, immature, only had 2 good seasons. But. He was an totally natural, excellent footballer. Goal , midfield - stunning at times.
2) Gary Neville - Always there, few mistakes
3) Rio Ferdinand - Lazy, sometimes asleep, moody .... but a totally natural defending brain
4) Sol Campbell - Finished now, but was untouchable for yonks
5) Re-runs of Bobby Moore show him to be an excellent hub of any team
6) Beckham - made many games happen, despite the critics.

And Crouch is quite good with his feet for a big lad.
The mistakes outnumber the good bits

Heskey always gets 'injured' after about 65 minutes. He can't do the whole 90.
He's got a brilliant pair of shoulders - but it's rather like putting a skip outside your house ... guaranteed nobody will park there.
He wins a ball, without having to rearrange player's faces, unlike Alan 'Elbow' Shearer.



** DISCLAIMER**
I am mature enough to realise that every single player in the Premier League is about 500x more skilled that I would ever be even if I had been fed grass and goalpost paint since birth. And, if I had been personally coached, from toddler age, by Pele and had advice on the pitch from the ghost of Gerge Best while having special permission from the FA to glue the ball to my boot
**END DISCLAIMER**

[sandywinder]

This says it all.

Evidence? You want evidence. You got evidence.

uk.youtube.com/watch?v=_SGwgoWfSDM&mode=related&search=

[Daz Madrigal]

9 guests?

Spoooooooookeeeee


I'm outta here.

[Daz Madrigal]

<< 4) Gerrard's diguise has to be revealed. Stephen is, in fact, a tetchy 14 year old teenage girl going through puberty. This explains the drab expression, occassional flashes of effort, but general moody performance in everything. From cleaning up his room, doing his homework, or kicking the ball in a straight line.
Gerrard is a liability. >>

Not when he's allowed in the central midfield role. Thats where the action is.

..then some idiot art teaxher took over and stuck me on the Wing. The Left Wing!!!

[kipper]

SANDY GROUNDSMAN: "This says it all.

Evidence? You want evidence. You got evidence."

Yeah .. they were good punts. ...and I like he's "both feet" skillset. But a booted fluke doesn't grind out the wins at some obscure round inan Eastern Bloc location (ask Sven) We need either an out and out regular striker ...or someone in midfiled with a brain. Gerrard is neither.

[kipper]

DAZZ LINESMAN: "Not when he's allowed in the central midfield role. Thats where the action is.

..then some idiot art teaxher took over and stuck me on the Wing. The Left Wing!!! "

That;s the point -- he wants to be in booting no-man's land between goal and midfield. That's not anyone's job really.

Anymoe of that , and I'll have you back on the Bench Madrigal .. that No9 shirt isn't yours to keep, you know.

[sandywinder]

kipper said:

SANDY GROUNDSMAN: "This says it all.

Evidence? You want evidence. You got evidence."

Yeah .. they were good punts. ...and I like he's "both feet" skillset. But a booted fluke doesn't grind out the wins at some obscure round inan Eastern Bloc location (ask Sven) We need either an out and out regular striker ...or someone in midfiled with a brain. Gerrard is neither.

He's both.

[kipper]

SANDY "THE SPECIAL ONE" WINDER: "He's both"

He thinks his both ... that's why 7 times out of 10 he gets caught with both plans in his head ... and consequently messes up.

I simply haven't seen enough sparkle, and world class mindset, from Gerrard, in the many many England games he's attended.
Even the poison dwarf (Scholes) had more zip and game sense than Gerrard assembles ... and Scholes was a bleedin' liability , at time, himself.


------------------
LATE NEWS ....Midfield Performance
Just witnessed Everton spend 90 minutes working quite hard running up and down a pitch to not really understand the principles of PUTTING THE BALL NEAR THE NET.

For some reason, they have adopted the "Vietnam Technique" for their play. This involves treating the midfield as a DeMilitarised Zone - where no persons should be found loitering. The technique is simple: when the midfield zone approaches, boot the ball over it and hope for the best strike.


"Batty" Sheepskin
Touchline
Cavenham United

[sandywinder]

The problem with Gerrard has always been that he has not been played in the best position for his strengths. He is a much better player when he plays for Liverpool and once his fractured toe is mended he will be much better if Mclaren doesn't make him play in goal or wherever. ;D

So some of the Everton match. What a shocker of a decision by the ref to make the bald guy take the penalty again. I doubt baldy will take another penalty for a while. It was reminiscent of England at their finest, snatching defeat from the jaws of Victoria Beckham. Not that she has any need for them.

[kipper]

SANDY SWEEPER: "The problem with Gerrard has always been that he has not been played in the best position for his strengths. He is a much better player when he plays for Liverpool

That's true - but Benitez still indulges him by having a few lads on hand to support his "roaming" style, However, this is another weakness of Gerrard ... he likes the club/lads/local hero status and cannot transfer that to his National side.

and once his fractured toe is mended he will be much better if Mclaren doesn't make him play in goal or wherever.

The best we can hope is that ex-convict used car salesman Special Advisor Venables picks the team. Tufty McClaren can busy himself with the half-time oranges. Time to phone up Mourinho for the job ... he's available !

So some of the Everton match. What a shocker of a decision by the ref to make the bald guy take the penalty again. I doubt baldy will take another penalty for a while. It was reminiscent of England at their finest, snatching defeat from the jaws of Victoria Beckham. Not that she has any need for them. "

Johnson took a good one .... and the rules are he has to take the re-take.... disaster. The Ukrainians were more certain on-the-ball , but also had no finish. If Everton can't despatch those, then they're only route into Europe is the Chunnel.
How does the Premiership defend Everton's wages against a bunch of 50 quid-a-week Ukrainians ? Pathetic. On these showings, Gus could play for Kiev on his day off ... and still defeat thee Ingleeesh. Pah !

[kipper]

Heard today that Mourionho could trouser £20 mill + in his severance package ( there's a few nice suits !)

ManU apparently make £30 mill profit ... and it'd take Abramovich 20 years (at that profit,... if he could get it organised for Chelsea)
to clear Chelsea's debt. At those figures ( and Abramovich's apparent desire for ManU-style attack and play) he may get bored with playing Footie Owner and move along. He's 1/2 Billion adrift on Chelsea ... so he has to really love his little project to keep with them in the mid term.

He's got a real problem, imho. Like most rich people... he's aware of every last rouble he's spent on this confection - and just when he fancies cashing in on Chelsea's high profile "world-winner" status - they're gonna go down the ladder. And, he must've thought he'd spent enough cash to see him through a major trophy or two --- at the moment he has to go out and buy some more ! All that ,with a potential market price for Andrei '£30Mill' Schevchenko of....oooo... about £10 Mill.

Abramovich must still be hurting from not buying up ManU.
Mind you - if he had, he would have the Alex "Arrogant Bombastic Over-Hyped Tosspot Pensioner Horse Trader" Ferguson to handle. He's finding out that Football isn't at all the same as Oil Share Stealing. Shame !

[Daz Madrigal]

Abramovitch expects a better return for his outlay - and more entertainment. i.e. we're STILL not on a par with Man Utd. That would seem reasonable enough were it not for his constant meddling.

He does not appear to realise that he is merely the owner - NOT the Manager.

Lets call it quits.

50/50