Rock around the load of old cock

[Oh no Yoko]

paul had no talent. Many times paul displays his lack of talent. John wrote all the good stuff. John would never scumble glaze. That is the difference.



This by John made 7,500 moneys no joke. I laugh at the scumble. All the way to the bank.

[Daz Madrigal]

I could put two paintings up ..one by an established artist and another buy a rockstar and I bet Kip would still get it 50% correct.

[kipper]

Whoah ! Painting test ...cor blimey, I'm either gonna look like a super hero, or a cuppa soup.

I'll give it a go - I can take a crucifiction.

---------
OK -
Disclaimer 1: Even so-called established Artists can be naff. The market isn't run on art exam results !
Disclaimer 2: I don't know either of these works

1) Top Orangey Bluey Red one

This is odd, because it's either strange composition, or incomplete.
Some artists have been known to "cut out" the best bit of painting they have in a canvas and re-staple.
There's interesting scuffs and accidents hear and there, but this assemblage isn't my cup of assam. There's no gain (imho) from having the discernable shapes do what they're attempting to do. There is little excitement between elements, and it doesn't move me in the least. The top left hand daubs are exceptionally empty of interest.

2) Browny - Bluey - Yellow
Obviously some cartoon elements and little vignettes of drawing , edited, and embellished along the way. I could read a complete sub-text into this one, but would probably be way off. There's quite mature marks and squiggles going on. Not my cup of darjeeling, but someone might be intrigued.

----------
So - what's the answer ?

[Daz Madrigal]

Not quite as unequivocal as I'd hoped but its only fair to hedge bets. Actually I chose the second one because he often puts his paintings on the covers of albums (in those far off daze) and my Art student friend used to laugh at the incompetence of them.

Err...that was prior to them selling for very high prices - so it was a trick question with a typically tricksy answer.

The first is off this Artist..

www.joycecoco.com/

I've no idea who she is, I just googled abstract art and picked the worst looking of the lot and that was the one!

btw. the rockstar was Capt. Beefheart.

[kipper]

Mmmm

Well, I don't feel so bad about that, in the end.
In short
1)the first one showed compositional incompetence
2) the second had nice touches and "looseness" of expression...but I didn't think much of it personally.

The first one was by an art student (who said they've always got talent !)
The second was by a n (admitedly avant garde and intelligent) rock star.

So, I feel vindicated that I saw little real value in either. The art student was a graduate of Denver , I see ... somehow, I don't think the copgnoscenti line up for flights to Colorado. I note she went onto Cambs to do "cross-cultural studies", where she daubed some more. I think this is known as best fish in the Denver pool , raised daddy's cash for a "cute liddle old England" jaunt. I don't think I will be texting Saatchi, just yet.


Another gem to follow !

[kipper]

This is a beauty.
I include the deeply thought "artists" test, so that the viewer can really get into the originality of the "piece". The work is from a talented person (musically) but who is renowned for parasatisation (real word?? - should be)

The title of the print is (look sincerely into camera, adopt Pete Docherty bambi/street poet look and croak:)
'Conflict'



Artist Text
This, for a couple of reasons is one of my favorite pieces. In 1994 I started working on the computer for the first time. However, the beginnings of this print go back to 1993. I had been thinking about the repercussions of Damien Hirst's piece "The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living." This is the piece Damien built in 1991 incorporating a fully grown shark in a tank of formaldehyde. In 1994 a real conflict had developed in British art between the supporters of traditional painting and those of the new young British artists. To identify this tussle, and as I was now working with the computer, I chose to collage various subjects together symbolising both sides of the argument. Firstly, I made a Hirst style box then, working in a traditional manner such as the great British painters Lucian Freud and Frank Auerbach have worked, bringing allusion or interpretation of classic paintings into their work, I made a watercolour impression from a Freud self portrait and scanned this into the box


PRICELESS !! Who is it ? No googling allowed

[Daz Madrigal]

My first thoughts were someone portentous like Bono but then is he's not 'a talented musician', someone who takes himself very seriously. The musician part is puzzling and rules out the numerous 'friends/lackeys/hangers-on' in the Damien Hirst Set.

..i've no idea...Mike Oldfield?

[chavette]

Hmm. At first I thought maybe Lassie. Then I thought praps someone from Blur. We are looking for someone who tries to reinvent themselves and takes themselves far more seriously than anyone else ever will. I am going to to choose Donovan who never knew that his success was based on one or two hummable tunes not his insightful poetry. Donovan?

[Daz Madrigal]

Even Donovan albums are bearable compared to "Tubular Bells".

By pure accident I did come across this excoriating review of Hirst by someone called Billy Childish...err..if I'd known his articles were strewn all over the BBC site I'd have never used the name. No wonder the R4 msg brds took a dim view of things.

Damien Hirst and the age of the phoneys.

see image gallery

During the 90s, before I was ex-communicated for heresy, I was counted as one of Tracy Emin’s oldest friends. I had also met her art dealer, Jay Jopling, and got on very well with Sarah Lucas. Because of my lack of regard for contemporary art I declined Tracy’s invites to all parties and private views with very few exceptions, one of them being the opening of Minky Manky at the South London Gallery.

Looking around at the exhibits, I whispered to her it should be re-titled Winky W**ky Woo, which earned me my first angry look of the evening. Later, in the garden, she introduced me to those two artists in suits who look like Morecombe & Wise, but aren’t as funny, and then to her friend Damien. “She’s got big tits – have you f**ked her?” he asked me. I smiled thinly and steered Tracy away. She made excuses for him, I found it a bit dumb.

On reflection, this was a singularly fitting introduction: Damien’s work is very much about statements of the obvious made in a 14-year-old schoolboy type of way. Other acquaintances of mine who know Damien, often defend his work by arguing that it’s a reflection of the times in which we live. To my mind this doesn’t make his work vital and exciting, but is the very reason why it is ephemeral and boring.

When Mayor Giuliani tried to ban the Sensation show in New York, Damien was reported to have said that if New York wasn’t such an important market he’d refuse to show there ever again. This declaration is very revealing and confirms that Damien’s work is not about integrity but markets, which is in stark opposition to art, the heart and soul of which is integrity. It’s clear that Damien would not spend 25 years pickling sharks in his garden shed waiting for his genius to be recognised. If his “art” didn’t sell he wouldn’t do it. This, for me, is the crux. If Damien Hirst doesn’t even believe in his own work then why should I?

However, in the end, I think it’s wrong to judge Damien Hirst as an artist at all. It’s easier to look at what he is really trying to achieve than what he says he is. Damien Hirst wants money and celebrity, and in this area he is a great success. His talk and art are merely sound bites, as phoney as Tony Blair’s, and, like Tony, Damien is one of Thatcher’s children.

[kipper]

Harvey Dazzstein: "My first thoughts were someone portentous like Bono but then is he's not 'a talented musician', someone who takes himself very seriously. The musician part is puzzling and rules out the numerous 'friends/lackeys/hangers-on' in the Damien Hirst Set."

..i've no idea...Mike Oldfield

Oldfield? Nah.
I have maybe mis-led you with the words 'talented musician' ... I think the person probably is, but moreso a 'talented songwriter'

La Belle Chavette - "Hmm. At first I thought maybe Lassie. Then I thought praps someone from Blur. We are looking for someone who tries to reinvent themselves and takes themselves far more seriously than anyone else ever will. I am going to to choose Donovan who never knew that his success was based on one or two hummable tunes not his insightful poetry. Donovan?"

Nope.
Although some of your comments would apply...

I'll give you a couple of hours more.
The person has other "art" work to reveal... and some of the texts-to-go with, and titles, are little jewells. Surprisingly naff for such a clued-up individual. No more hints...

[Daz Madrigal]

I'm stuck.

I can't even think of anyone who reaches the criteria of 'talented songwriter'!

[Daz Madrigal]

bah..you'd never believe I ws a music lover..talented songwriter ..sounds like Elton John.



Leonard Cohen?

[kipper]

DONG ! Times Up !

No answer Mon cherie Chavette?
----------

Ok , it's none other than:
Dave "Stop looking at my crows feet, this haircut cost me 300 quid" Bowie


Yes, art-sensitive, avant-garde Dave is a stumbling, spotty teenager when it comes to the old beret and easel biz. He scored an 'unclassified' on his Art NVQ with this monster.
Dave got the full set of Linguaphone CDs on "How to learn Artspeak" but they got scratched in transit.
Dave has other "works" and they might be revealed in the coming weeks on "Rock around the load of old Quock"

[Daz Madrigal]

I feel like someone who's been given an open goal and blasted it over the bar.

Yes its obvious..once you know the answer.

[chavette]

Bowie! Of course! Kip you are GOOD. Do it again.