Wot I saw on the Bat TV

[chavette]

Photoz of bottom curling and toe clenching? thatz sgusting.

[Daz Madrigal]

kipper said:

This week BAtTV

Watched England lose, Scotland lose, Ireland lose, Wales nearly lose.

nuffink else.

Saturday
BatCrystalBall Futurescape TV

Watch England Rugby lose

Mebbe if you stopped watching it'd bring us good luck!

[kipper]

DAZZ TEA LEAVES: "Mebbe if you stopped watching it'd bring us good luck!"

I know ... but these big events is all I seem to catch (mostly)

See.... Hamilton lost F1, Lost the Rugger, Lost the Euro2008 entrance ( 99% sure, anyways)

It was a whole week of "Good but Not Quite There" on 3 fronts !!

Gordon Benitto

[kipper]

and...OH YEAH ...

in case anyone doesn't read the papers ... the bloke who dis-allowed the (GUARANTEED FOR SURE WAS ABOSLUTELY THERE) England try in the WCup final was an AUSTRALIAN VIDEO TOUCH JUDGE.

ALL the players thought it was a try, the local School for the blind thought it were a try, The whole French Nation (who were knashing their teeth and still regretting the semi-final loss) thought it was a try.
The guy who paints the lines at the Stade de France thought it was a try, as did the Pope.
The Referee down on the pitch (actual quote: "Is there ANY reason you can give me not to award this try" unquote) thought it was a try ... but...

the AUSTRALIAN video judge thought it wasn't ....


SWIZZ
SWIZZ
DOUBLE SWIZZ

[topsy]

chavette said:

Photoz of bottom curling and toe clenching? thatz sgusting.

SAUCEBOX!

[kipper]

BatTV ... errr, think it was Monday.

Watching any dross while scoffing tea.
On came Ewan McGregor in some Motorbike Adventure/Doc thingy.
Apparently this was the "getting it all prepred" program in a series... whereby Ewan Film-Star and Ugly Sidekick cycle across Africa in a laddish way.

Well, Ewan was alright ...'cos he's got some charisma and knows darn well how to hold a camera's attention. He does "genuine" quite well... and that was that.

But

The real stuff was the "crew" and "team" that are putting the "adventure"together. Gawd Luvva Duck ... have you EVER in your WHOLE LIFE seen such a bunch of shallow, Chelsea and Hackney suburb, white Media trash ?? The token Tarts, who "run the office" were vacuous Euro trash doing some work experience. The Exec Producer was the sort of bullshi**ing ponce you'd meet in a cheesey wine bar, by accident.
The crew were taken straight out of a lads lager advert.

Finally Ewan's "pal", who is going to do the ride with him, was an empty bag you can find blowing down any Soho street, any day of the week. If he wasn't doing this, he'd be selling timeshare or working in a second division marketing company.

First rule of reality Television ...NEVER show the boys behind the camera ... I've seen less falsies in a Morraccan plastic surgeons waiting room.... I 've seen more sincerity at a double glazing reps convention.

appalling ... now where's that Nigella .....

[kipper]

BAtTV ... some other day ..Wed ?

By pure sod's law, the Motorcycling Media Twats were on again, right in the middle of Tea-Time Scoffing Period.

Could only take 10 minutes of their vaccuous dribble. Good to see the format hasn't changed :
1) Budget - A dozen Media Twats bust it on some jeeps, motorcycles and some hotels.
2) Disasters ( couldn't find a hotel, got wet feet, a light busted on the bike) were handled with manly aplomb - plus many hours of wanking on over some canopes and designer beer.
3) Camera - mostly pointed out of a car window.. all the visual flair of Michael Winner with an eye infection.
4) Vaseline - smeared over the Producer's vocal chords, so that his every word came out as a neutral, slippery, greasy experience for all around.
5) Stars - they have one: Ewan McGregor. They are so over-awed that he signed up for this tosh .. they spend most days pinching themselves. Unfortuantely it is a dream for them .. but a feckin nightmare for the viewers.

At this rate Jonathan Ross is looking like quality TV

---------------

BAtTV Wed
Saw the Hugh Weldon TvLecture ( or summat) whereby a tubby Media-type gave us all the lowdown on "da future"

It was a full-on multi-media, 22nd century extravaganza ( the bloke showed old clips from television)
The fat-thirty-sumffink Media Exec told the white media audience that the Tinternet and Social Networking will change media forever and ever.

His up-to-date-futurescape rant ( lifted directly from Wired Magazine 1999 and some websites) told us that the media future was all about people networks, interactivity and er.... networks.
He was right .... I was the only one watching this bleat ... the kids were busy stealing MP3s

[kipper]

BAt On-line Streamed Download View...sort of TV

The Mighty Boosh - Prog 1 (new series)

Utterly memerising, deeply funny and just plain good.
Best Comedy/Sureal larks on the tube.
They haven't faded yet ... the Boosh is still going strong.
As super-duper as the first years of Vic Reeves Big Night Out.
-----------------------

Strange how old hat ... the so-called 'alternative' comedians and "media favourites" are looking these days.
Would someone like to phone up Phil Jupitus and tell him he is not funny ? I'll lend you my mobile... while you're there, you can tell Jo Brand it's time to retire.

[Daz Madrigal]

It was surreal and much better than the current fare. Yes a bit like Reeves and Mortimer...very hit and miss. A bit too many misses for my liking but worth watching. Humours a bit too subjective though..quite a few didn't 'get' Reeves & Mortimer at all.

QI was good last night, in fact its consistently good but last nights was especially funny. Even Jeremy Clarkson was amusing.

On the subject of humour...and lets face it, its in very short supply on the box. I'm not sure why Harry Hill is demoted to doing voice overs for stale camcorder clips of kiddies falling off bicycles. He must be paid very well indeed.

I've been forced to watch the Basil Brush show...not quite as good as his heyday but still amusing after all these years. I wonder who is the man who pulls Basils strings?

Give him a trinket in the honours list.

[sandywinder]

Yes I like QI as well. See the websites on badinage. I could only vaguely remember a few of them.

[kipper]

QI seem to be vair popular ...and I understand why , I spose it's geniune old "entertainment" . Not so bad, I guess. Of course it could always guarantee succes by not inviting Jupitus.

Basicl Brush is a good one .... kid still watch him, u know --- and his script writer is a sharp old fox himself. Baz has got comedy bones, agreed.

Bring back Sweep, I say.

[sandywinder]

kipper said:

QI seem to be vair popular ...and I understand why , I spose it's geniune old "entertainment" . Not so bad, I guess. Of course it could always guarantee succes by not inviting Jupitus.

Basicl Brush is a good one .... kid still watch him, u know --- and his script writer is a sharp old fox himself. Baz has got comedy bones, agreed.

Bring back Sweep, I say.

Well far better than keeping the blighters in school til they are 18.

You did mean the chimney sweep?

[topsy]

Good idea! A pity the RN doesn't need powder monkeys any more.

How about exco setting up as a modern Fagin...using little b@st@rds to rob the rich

[sandywinder]

topsy said:

Good idea! A pity the RN doesn't need powder monkeys any more.

How about exco setting up as a modern Fagin...using little b@st@rds to rob the rich

You mean the Treasury? I think you will find the vacancies have all been filled.

Only nowadays Bottler & Co don't so much rob the rich as rob the poor.

[topsy]

Looks like they're in the business of selling info on us now, too!