Wot I saw on the Bat TV

[kipper]

'Has Britain Got Talent'

I don't know... but I'm sure they can get a lotion from the Doc for it.

Saw 3 minutes of this program over someone else's shoulder. It looked like some end-of-the-pier car crash. Has it gripped the nation, then?

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TUESDAY Bat TV:
Didn't see nuffink - too busy with driving and late teas/work.
DId I miss something?

WEDNESDAY Bat TV
Didn't see nuffink.
Caught a glimpse of The Simpsons over a young person's shoulder. Homer was still yellow.
Did I miss something?

I'm rubbish as a TV reviewer, aren't I?

Sandy - tell us about Big Brother and what it means. Is BB the equivalent of E numbers ? Is Davina still in it - Why is she such a dope...has looks, money, experience...?




War! (it's like televisual hayfever...)

[piccione]

/////As Bruce Wayne, I sometimes sip a Chateau Lafite '55.////

Erm…in that case bring a bottle to the ‘fridge warming’ and you can sip away - with us lager louts.....

À ta santé et goût exquis, Chauve-Souris de Rothschild! ;D

[piccione]

Actually, Kip - do cinema reviews count as well?

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean last night.

Gosh it was cr@p!!

Bloom and Knightley are such seriously bad actors - even in a ‘fun film‘ - it’s almost an embarrassment to watch.

Thankfully, there was the best-looking of all pirates to keep me awake. Otherwise I’d have gone to sleep after about 15 min - as my partner did....

Still - I’d have been much better off going to the pub.....

What a bloody waste of valuable drinking time!

[kipper]

Actually, Kip - do cinema reviews count as well?

Film reviews do count, stick them in and see who salutes them.

I will throw up whatever few films I do see. I rarely see anything "grown-up" though - am forced to see schlok, by order.

[kipper]

THURSDAY BatTV

Saw
1) 20 minutes of Question Time. The Hitchens Brothers were on.
One was shouty-insistent, the other was pis*ed-incontinent.
What a laff!

Dimbleby asked a mug audience member to read out their question as a performing seal member of the debate. Then he let the chattering classes wank on ruminate on the answer. Dimbleby likes to insult involve the audience by giving them a few seconds to join in the discussion.
Boris Johnson's hair was unruly, again !

2) The Week in Politics ..or...( you know the one with Portillo)
Fatso, aka Dianne Abbott launched into Tina Brown (media Empiress) and was very dismissive.
Portillo and Brillo Pad Head were smirking, openly, at the cat fight.
Entertaining enough.

FRIDAY BatTV
Saw various bits of BBC reports from Glasonbury. This was partially to see how shiite Glastonbury has become. Someone told me it is £145 per ticket ..and the camping is like being in an ant colony. Commercialised, rip-off, guff.

The BBC "studio" in Glastonbury had "DJs" talking to the viewer.
They were being ironic, funny and filling time between performances. No matter what decade we're in - DJs always sound like tosspot gabble heads. Why do they do this?

Saw a few bands who were uninteresting/student poseurs
Whinehouse said she wouldn't go to rehab, no,no,no - and was cool and sassy sounding. A knob-end, but she sounds good sometimes.

[kipper]

FRIDAY BatTV
Didn't watch nuffink
Woops lie, came in late ..., saw Ross talking to a Tennis star. She was very attractive and...er...pneumatic. Unlike Ross, I think this, quietly, put it away and move on.
The woman was nice...but undeneath she was like any other Tennis star - utterly, completely and totally self-obsessed with diet, matches, scores, diet, body, cups, fitness. There was really nothing else in her head - although, she wasn't actually "dumb" imho.
Switched it off - there were other people..er Russell Brand and Iggy Pop. Iggy pop is nice enough man, but comes from an era that's well dead.
And another thing about "icons". Seriously, who has put an Iggy Pop track on thee olde record player, and settled back for a listen? Only Radio 2 DJs play "icons" for actual pleasure.

Didn't see Iggy Pop...and now someone's going to say "it was sensational"

meh

SATURDAY
Nuffink
Except ... saw Doctor Who gurning, while I walked about the house as somebody else watched it. I can't remember the actor's name ..but what a mug he has. Disaster....exterminate!

SUNDAY
Nuffink


My potential as a TV reviewer is dropping like a stone. I haven't got the popular touch, I fink.
Still, I will press on with it, just to bore the pants of the thread

Note - I already wear my pants outside, Chauve-Souris style.

[Daz Madrigal]

No I was going to talk about Glastonbury Fayre and then realised I hadn't seen anything other than several clips of Lilly Allen skipping around, and singing something like..'you cried and I just la-ha-haffed!..cos I don't ca-ha-hare..so the-ha-hare".

It might mean something if I was 18 but I'm 21 now...its time to look forward to Dirk territory. Maybe get into Big Bands or follow Mimi and listen to light operettas from the balcony.

I wanted to talk about QT and the Hitchens twins but I was fed up with a bunch of people talking twaddle so I switched over to BB.



The trouble with people like Tina Brown, Chris Hitchens etc..is that well first they live in the USA. Secondly they keep talking, rather aptly, about the World Stage.

Now what people are really interested in..or will be is stuff like..'hey where has my pension gone?'...why am I paying National Insurance when the Labour Govt have made it into another stealth Tax.

Tina and Chris are too busy filing unreadable magazines with pretentious twaddle about er..'world affairs' to bother with such petty matters as old peoples pensions. Moreover..according to them Blair and Brown are big hitters on the world stage.

Well certainly thats true for the inhabitants of Iraq and Afghanistan - they've been hit very very hard.

[kipper]

I've seen Lilly Allen and heard her(once) She has a "famous" Dad (Alan Allen:-) whom I have met. He's one of those people that pretend gentleness, off screen, to counteract his "hellraiser" public image. In actual fact , he's quite thick - but shrewd enough to make cash from media numbskulls.
Lilly is possibly a UK Paris Hilton... except from Poundstretcher.


I turning into BitchMan, now
Blame it on Robin ...he's bad kharma. Only yesterday he was saying the batcave was "outre", whatever that means , and I should get a designer in and have it Fung Shhhwayed.
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World issues always attract the chattering classes...detailed problem-solving is too much like hard work for them.

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Davina Dazz:" ...but I was fed up with a bunch of people talking twaddle so I switched over to BB."

Ah, now...you see..you have the popular touch, 'cos I don't go to BB, no,no,no.

What is the pull for you and Sandy ? I've seen five mins...and it didn't do anything for me. Isn't all the issues covered, just the same issues as any other? Are ugly people that interesting?
Hell, I'm good looking and I'm not interesting...
Is it Therapy?

[oldpunkette]

Lily's Dad is Keith Allen, not Alan.

[oldpunkette]

BTW, did anybody else notice Tina Brown's THROAT.

35 in the face, 94 on the throat.

It was BIZARRE.

[kipper]

El Punko : "Lily's Dad is Keith Allen, not Alan"

Really? Keep up with the jokes OP...

BTW, did anybody else notice Tina Brown's THROAT.

35 in the face, 94 on the throat.

It was BIZARRE.

Yes ... it was strange ... I thought the telly was off - there was an inhuman line of red, that didn't make anatomic sense. Jet lag?

[oldpunkette]

kipper said:

El Punko : "Lily's Dad is Keith Allen, not Alan"

Really? Keep up with the jokes OP...

BTW, did anybody else notice Tina Brown's THROAT.

35 in the face, 94 on the throat.

It was BIZARRE.

Yes ... it was strange ... I thought the telly was off - there was an inhuman line of red, that didn't make anatomic sense. Jet lag?

I thought maybe good plastic surgery on the face but subsequent unpleasant consequences on the throat? No?

Glad you noticed it. Thought I was out my tree.

Who is Alan Allen then?

[sandywinder]

Visited London at the weekend with the CIC. Before going to see the Lion King we went to the British Museum. It's a good job it was free because everything there was so old.

As for the Lion King at the Lyceum, the costumes were brilliant but not the songs or the singers, in my opinion. I thought I was at the zoo.

Don't worry Daz we went everywhere by train or tube, so our carbon foot print was not too high.

[Daz Madrigal]

oldpunkette said:

BTW, did anybody else notice Tina Brown's THROAT.

35 in the face, 94 on the throat.

It was BIZARRE.

Can they do plastic surgery on the throat?

Obviously the can remove wobbling jowels but I'm glad to say that the Cheese board are immune to such fripperies and are not afraid of showing off 'lived in faces'.

Mainly lived in Bars by the sound of things.

[Daz Madrigal]

<< Davina Dazz:" ...but I was fed up with a bunch of people talking twaddle so I switched over to BB." >>

I'll stop telling gags, kip.

Well it was meant as a sly dig at QT. Its not that different from a reality show. People are playing a part and trying to hype their columns and magazines or in Chris Hitchens his book...which he spent the last 5 minutes trying to mention. Boris plays the buffoon although that seems to come fairly easily to him. Peter Hitchens is the Sandy Winder of the group...he just moans -at EVERYTHING.

I read his articles and he's never said anything positive about anyone - not even UKIP!

Chris Hitchems has made a career out of saying the precise opposite to everyone else...i.e Balir and Bush are both honest and intelligent men who did the right thing in going to war in Iraq.

..and that from a left winger. Its hard not to snigger at an ex Trostskyite who somehow manages to be as hardline as Donald Rumsfield but thats his job - he's a maverick.


BB is Sandys and OPs thing...I DID watch Celebrity Big Brother last time because someone tried to cook a whole chicken by putting it under a grill. Which may work if its kept in for several days. And then she got rid of it not by simply throwing it into a dustbin but flushing it down a loo and then shortly afterwards there was the kerfuffle which was oddly compelling tv.

I'm actuallty a TV snob..I've never watched even one episode of a soap opera but I can see that lies in tatters now. I tuned in at 1 am..what else is on and if they're wake like last time they were talking about how mundane life was in there - well spare a thought for the viewers, darlings!