Wot I saw on the Bat TV

[sandywinder]

Well it was either that or set myself on fire whilst performing the Allah shuffle.

[kipper]

SATURDAY BatTV
Watched news24 to catch site of floods. Tiurned out to be a rolling series of dodgy motors, some on fire.

After intense interrogation, by various reporters, officals said
1) They couldn't release the names and addresses and photos of all the suspects.
2) There could be loads more bombs or there could be none
3) People should be suspiscious
4) If the public spot a bomb, they should tell someone - "I've spotted a bomb"
5) The Minister said that there were meetings
6) Another Minister said we should be vigilent and that the whole thing was serious

and
7) apparently, I've got to go out and get a muslim's heart and mind

didn't see nuffink else

SUNDAY BatTV
saw nuffink - a day of endless tasks and driving
But
suddenly remembered I wanted to see Kill Bill 2 ... but put the TV on with only 10 minutes of the film to go. So, Uma punched "Bill" in the chest and won the kid ... the end



any wonderful films / TV seen by anyone ? Please post arresting and irreverant review.

[Daz Madrigal]

Oh noo..not Kill Bill.

Some skinny yank girl kickin the ass of 100 Japs. Its enough to make you wish that Bruce Lee was alive and well. I'm sorry but the flying in the air thing doesn't do anything for me either...the Chinese are just very strange...almost as strange as Indians who like Bollywood films.

I've just recalled we used to have a site on here where you could put words into the mouths of Bollywood stars. It was quite fun at the time although reliant on in jokes. Gus featured in lots. Naturally.

[kipper]

I liked Kill Bill1 enough...a t least managed to see the most of THAT one. The silly air ballet and all that is good visual chewing gum. More importantly, I liked Uma's part. No,I don't "fancy" her... I just thought she held the line well, throughout.
Tarantino is like a good, expensive, advert ... which can be hi quality visuals for a boring evening.

I wish he wouldn't put himself in the films ... he's an ugly old codger and puts me off my TV dinner +Sparkling Perry Juice.

-------
Bollywood .... mmm, trendy to like it , isn't it? I have seen a LOT of bollywood, so I have different emotions. They ARE all the same, barring a few, so no joy there. They pass by without too much headache though, I suppose.
Satyajit Ray for a more lovely filmic experience, imho


(nearly) best film ever = The Hairdresser's Husband

[kipper]

MONDAY BatTV
didn't see nuffink

TUESDAY BatTV
Saw 20 minutes of Tennis - because a kid wanted to watch it.
They showed some thwack-thwack, grunt-grunt moments. Then onto interviews with Tennis palyers.
A woman player said: "Fitness, stroke, fitness, injury, how I feel, what I feel, my body, my body, my legs" which was very intersting.

a male player (Number 2 in the world, forgot name) had a rant against the authorities. He was upset that the management had prolonged the tournament because of rain delays etc. He said other places were never as bad.
He was a moaning little jerk - and needed a slap upside his head.

Apparently, even though he will be collecting mondo cash for turning up and waving a string bat around, Wimbledon and the British Rain have spoiled his diary. I think one of the ball boys should but pepper on his balls.

WEDNESDAY BatTV
Nuffink

[kipper]

THURSDAY BatTV

Question Time
It was a Student/Schoolkid special..so Dimbleby was mostly confused.
The audience had taken their cue from University Challenge 1989
they whooped on "let's all be friends and have a nice world" and booed on "there's some bad people around who we should punish" ...er...issues.

They were mostly middle-class educated kids, and therefore the responses were mature...but ultimately concerned with anything with "world" in the sentence. World Peace, World Warming etc.
I can imagine if this audience was full of children from a mining village in 1930 - who might have a parochial grip on wages and conditions etc ... but would also have a healthy disrespect for stuffed-shirts.

Davina McCall was on the panel ...and should have been replaced with a kid from the audience. Ed Miliband was wheeled in as "kindly young man from the Government" - he was, of course, an intelligent but patronising shyt with an agenda.

I left feeling that the gap between British youth and real politic was an absolute chasm. Which is not all, a bad thing, i

[Daz Madrigal]

It was a bit disappointing. Very 2nd rate guests. Ed Milliband very like his brother, completely ignores questions and talks without taking a breath. This seems to be a prerequisite for Labour Politicians...maters of the art incl. Hazel Motormouth Blear and Coma Girl Harriet Harman and Patricia 'Witch of thee East' Hewitt.

In comparison, Davina was okay, better than expected. Usually had fairly sound opinions but perhaps not the seasoned delivery. Better than most celebrity guests..if.erm somone as utterly mundane as Billy Bragg can be called a celebrity.

Afterwards it wasmore interesting 'The Politics Show' is typically BBC...someone called Bin Laden was wheeled on to give 'a detached view' of events. How very BBC...sadly Osama wasn't available so they settled for his daughter instead.

The cosy double act of Diane Abbott and 'new man/new liberal' Portillo is interesting. Both are well known hypocrites but they fit in because everything is some kind of joke...even bombs are laughed off due to their amateurism. Everything going to be alright.

It'd be like Breakfast TV were it not for Andrew Neil who is actually a very good presenter. He's obviously a Tory through and through - which is a good thing. It means he gives an honest opinion.

As the two muppets bent over backwards to be kind to Brown he had the good grace to laugh at their pitiful attempts to be "reasonable and nicey nice".

Portillo wears nice fluffy pullovers. True vocation..presenter of the old Blue Peter with Peter Purvis. Not a serious politician at all but better than Abbot.

[kipper]

DM "In comparison, Davina was okay, better than expected."

Sure, better if you expected a stuffed toy.
The women had all the depth of a Travis wimpish lament...on... on...a student's sock drawer.
She only survived bacause she remembered some phrases frm the radio in the car to the studio,

DM :Usually had fairly sound opinions but perhaps not the seasoned delivery. Better than most celebrity guests..if.erm somone as utterly mundane as Billy Bragg can be called a celebrity.

Listening to BillyB is like painting fences - Davina is like watching them dry.

DM :Afterwards it wasmore interesting 'The Politics Show' is typically BBC...someone called Bin Laden was wheeled on to give 'a detached view' of events. How very BBC...sadly Osama wasn't available so they settled for his daughter instead.

Ah yes... I lied, I DID see that as well as QT. It wasn't his daughter, btw - it was his Siter-in-law.
She was a touch Euro-Trash Princess ... but she did well ( with constant interruptions) to put over a distinct view of global fundamentalism. Pity the Saudi Wasabi education centre politic wasn't discussed further.

DM :The cosy double act of Diane Abbott and 'new man/new liberal' Portillo is interesting. Both are well known hypocrites but they fit in because everything is some kind of joke...even bombs are laughed off due to their amateurism. Everything going to be alright.

It suits them for it to never get too searching. Abbott is a creep and the epitome of the self-serving/commons bar dupicity, you'd expect from a lawyer who has spent her life joining whatever career bus happens to be passing. It's weird, because it's taken me quite a while to understand she's quite a nasty piece of work, under the veneer of woman-of-the-people.

DM :It'd be like Breakfast TV were it not for Andrew Neil who is actually a very good presenter. He's obviously a Tory through and through - which is a good thing. It means he gives an honest opinion.

Neil is sharp -- he's less of a neocon/traditional tory than he likes to make out. He has the common touch, on occassion. He's under-used, but the BBC still hate any Murdoch tainted beings.
DM :As the two muppets bent over backwards to be kind to Brown he had the good grace to laugh at their pitiful attempts to be "reasonable and nicey nice".

I think he'd like to steam into Brown, later, when he has more ammo ...I wonder if he's Soft On Scots through some sort of nationalism, though?

DM : Portillo wears nice fluffy pullovers. True vocation..presenter of the old Blue Peter with Peter Purvis. Not a serious politician at all but better than Abbot.

I don't know what he thinks ... obviously, he had the kit to go all the way - and to totally dump the whole deql still doesn't sit well with him .... mos;ty becasue he still has no identity : Author? Presenter?Journalist? Academic? He's quite young to be totally lost for a train ticket.

Is he a swordsman ?

[piccione]

/////I left feeling that the gap between British youth and real politic was an absolute chasm. Which is not all, a bad thing…/////

That’s /one/ way of looking at it, Kip. Maybe that was the aim. ;D

A bit like with ‘gown-ups’.....

[kipper]

FRIDAY BatTV
Nuffink

SATURDAY BatTV
Saw 40 mins of Live Earth ( how could one avoid it ?)

Wembley stadium was like the Moon (no atmosphere)
There were shows coming from other cities - but they were the same as if it were one city.
The bands I saw were poor. Same old Same old. Post-Modernist simulcra-regurgitations of bands we've all heard before, and before that, and before that. Not promising for future "big festivals"

Fight Club - Stayed up late and saw it again. It's semi-ridiculous, but has a nice tone on the photography. Brad Pitt was in his element and the small woman (Bonam Carter?) even took time to have a shave. Violent and silly, just how it should be.

SUNDAY Bat TV
Nuffink
Lie -- checked the weather to make sure it was going to pizz down sometime during the day ... it did !

[kipper]

Monday BatTV
nuffink

Tuesday BatTV
Watched a bit of Newsnight while having v v late dinner.
An "investigative" journalist had gone th S.Africa..to search out apparent more saucy dealings by BAE. This time, they'd been bribing (aledgi alegide ..can't spell it) the Gov. to buy up expensive Hawk Trainer Jets.

I think the BBC must still be smarting from the license fee drop --- because they're more than happy to put the boot into any UK Gov. dealings. The hack thinks he's dicovered more slush money for arms buyers ..SHOCK HORROR who could have believed it !!

The result will be lost jobs in UK high-tech industry, is all.


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I'm still poor on TV reviews ... so somebody step in and dish the dirt on a popular show for me....plz !

I could do books ...

[kipper]

Wednesday BatTV
Nuffink

Thursday BatTV
Saw something about 2 families that swapped holidays ....one couple set the holiday for the other etc.
One family always went to Egypt and "mixed" with the local community, ate local food etc. The other webt to Tennerife and ate lots of pies and drank copious beer.

There was lots of swearing. There was shock on both sides at the "new" experiences.

Naturally, the Chav Family's experience of Egyptian life was the most sweary/complaining /bleating part. I'm too world weary at the state of really really thick English people to cover the details, (and I was cooking at the time) but a prece sounded like:

"Wot do I wanna get on a f****** camel for, they stink"
"Urrghh it looks like a slug....i'm gonna spit it out ...Mum!"
"Everything's so dirty and sh**ty"
"We want english food - none of this sh*t"

etc

It was depressing in the extreme.

I know, very well, the true working class environment of yeateryear - and people then (wasn't that long ago!) were NOT as thick, rude and childishly agressive as this 'Family'...nobody was like that.

What are the new English Chav Class ?? Some sort of social experiment gone wrong?

[kipper]

Friday BatTV
Nuffink

Saturday BatTV
Late evening film where ome heroes had to travel to the centre of the Earth to fix the magnetic magma core, which had stopped spinning - thus creating unstable Earth fields.
There was no shame, by the producers, shown whatsoever ... the script launched over facts, plot, pace like a kiddies cart going over speed bumps. All the aactors had read thescript and figured it was an end-of-the-pier romp that would pay the mortgage on the condo. Didn't watch till the end , but essentially America saved the planet by setting off a bomb.

Question - "How many American films are there, whereby a planetary disaster is averted by setting off of large bombs?"

Question 2 - "Is this phenomena a queer, national, psychological re-positioning of the Nagasaki and Hiroshima actions?"

Sunday BatTV
Nuffink

Monday BatTV
Nuffink

[kipper]

Tuesday. Wed. Thur BatTV

Didn't see nuffink


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With the continuous bad weather, I suppose I should be viewing a bit more, but I ain't.

Shall I dump this thread? Or has it the tired remains of a giggle left in it?

[matty]

No, don't dump it. I like it. It's the quickest (and funniest) way to find out what's happening in the UK.