kipper
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The Capon Crusader
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Post by kipper on Jul 22, 2007 16:51:30 GMT
Matty Bom Bom: "No, don't dump it. I like it. It's the quickest (and funniest) way to find out what's happening in the UK."
Well Matty, my Big Sugar Dumplin', I thank you for the compliment - and so, puffed up with praise, I will soldier on.
Weirdly - I've been hitting the TV a lot - because it's very wet here in the BatCave.... and although I'm not flooded, I am a little cut-off from travelling very far without water wings.
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Friday BatTV
Had the BBC News 24 and SkyNews running continuously.
Wanted to know if it was time to move the furniture upstairs away from flood water ...and do something Muslim and blow something up .... dinghy, air-bed, inner tube.
SkyNews was better (which is difficult to admit) in general as their reporters sometimes actually go and look at something in detail. They also have more pictures coming in.
The Floods started with more shots of fat, stupid people asking Rescue Services to come and get their dog and/or cat.
We then progressed to shots of brown water moving fast. The reporter said it was "potential disaster" ... and then a car got stuck.
Later we had lots & lots & lots & lots of shots of people "stranded" on a Motorway. These people were perfectly dry and had not lost thier home or business. They had, though got a bit smelly in the car - and couldn't find a Hotel.
We had lots of shots of people "stranded" at a Train Station. These too, had not lost their home or business, but were having a long wait for a Taxi - and were a bit hungry.
Went to BatBed - Bat Buckets were collecting water effectively
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kipper
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Post by kipper on Jul 22, 2007 17:27:19 GMT
Saturday & Sunday BatTv
Between domestic Bat Tasks in the BatCave, had News channels on all day.
Flooding had become serious now...and News Services thought they might get a helicopter out ( they have several, but don't like to get them wet)
Many reporters stood in english "Market Towns" (WTF does that really mean anymore?) and pointed at flooded High Streets. Some took the trouble of pointing to "where the water was" and "where it is now". The reporters with local knowledge - gave some insightful information about what and where. Non Local reporters said that the heavy rain had made the rivers "bigger" and that driving in rivers "was trecherous"
As the Floods got worse, the BBC had more commentators come into the studio. There was no need for "experts" (water engineers, surveyors, paramedics, environmental health etc) apparently, as they had some Chief Executives to interview.
The Excutives said that we should "pull together" and that we would "overcome" difficulties.
The Chief of the Environment and Flood defences said that the defences had worked very well...virtually 100% - but that the weather was actually very very bad this time ...and so we were flooded.
Gordon Brown said he wanted to congratulate the emergency services and that there would be money available for something.
He delivered this earth-shattering dictat from a very dull room in No.10, with a fireplace that had one victorian teacup at its corner.
I understand that some rooms in Downing Street also act as an old people's home.
The weathermen have been appearing every 10 minutes to warn of further bad weather during the week. They have been sweeping thier arms around Wales and France to demonstrate how clouds are "moving in".
A news Anchorman interviewed a woman who had a mother in Hospital in a flooded area. The woman said she might be worried. The Anchorman expressed that it was worrying and that he hoped the woman's mother was well and that we'd be expecting lots more "of this" with climate change.
Members of the public have been encouraged to send in thier own photos of "the disaster". Many of the photos show clearly flooded main thoroughfares, where they are, and some other dramatic images. After that we go back to reporters who show us that Caravans are floating about somewhere.
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mimi
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Crumble, crumble
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Post by mimi on Jul 22, 2007 19:32:39 GMT
Kipper, your account of the TV flood reporting is SO much better than the BBC's reports of the floods. Hope you will keep it up.
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sandywinder
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The private sector makes boxes, the public sector ticks them
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Post by sandywinder on Jul 23, 2007 7:53:32 GMT
Yes Kipper and don't forget to tell the punters that these floods are different to previous ones, which were nearly always due to fast melting snow in spring combined with heavy rainfall.
When was the last time Britain had summer flooding on such a scale (ignoring local events like Boscastle)?
Well Daz? Get googling for that.
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on Jul 23, 2007 11:25:57 GMT
Bat TV...I like to watch Golf (with the sound off) with Summer Sounds of the Beach Boys blasting away in the background on the mere pretext that I like to watch wealthy Americans get soaking wet and windswept whilst giving a look as if to say 'what the hell am I doing in this bleak hell-hole of a Country?'. I've always said that Scotland should be both independent and carefully avoided...esp. since recent months. The Scots are a silly people who have produced nothing since the Bay City Rollers...they are incapable of voting Tory because they are all piss poor and either drunk or on drugs. Get rid of them immediately!
The bleak weather conditions explains the popularity of the Golf Club..where you can bore people and make excuses for the wretched performance. Americans just don't do bad weather...or unpredictability. Links courses have bumbs..err a bit like natural countryside. Yanks don't do natural...everything has to flat and green and mowed.
Tiger Woods was upset and furious in turns. I like to see wealthy people very very miserable. Am I odd and alone in this eccentricity.
Talkin bleak and miserable..onto English films. Despite brazen misuse of avatar and complaints to trade descriptions theres no doubt that Gary Oldman is an oddly compelling actor. I dunno..maybe its a Gary Oldman Season but he keeps popping up. He does English miserabilism best.
Er..it doesn't get more wretched than 'Prick Up Your Ears'..I won't go though the entire story - as film bores are wont to do - but its a biographical film about Joe Orton and centred around a meteoric rise to fame ending in tragedy after being bludgeoned to death by his jealous homosexual partner.
Normally I'd cross this off the TV guide but I read the book many years ago and the script was well written (by the same man who wrote the book) but moreover it was brilliantly acted throughout. Almost like watching a documentary.
Last night Tom Jones..a historical romp starring Albert Finney...a bit too close to reality for Salford relatives but I'm assured only kissing was allowed in late 1950's. Very enjoyable nevertheless.
Whats goin on?
Daz watches 2 films right through without dozing off!
Two films made in England and both remarkably well made and far better than American films made during the same time frame!
...phew..thats a days work done. I shall retire to the lounge to recover.
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on Jul 23, 2007 11:44:22 GMT
Kipper, your account of the TV flood reporting is SO much better than the BBC's reports of the floods. Hope you will keep it up. As long as the rivers continue to rise I'm sure he will keep going up...and up, Mimi. In fact he may even float by your place in his batboat. Actually my reporting came via some wretched radio show called 'Dirty tackle'..er about fishing. Why idiots want to go fishing in this weather at 6 am in the morning is a mystery...some had been sitting in the rain since 4 am. The whole scenario was bizarre..Kippers floating caravans got a mention but only in passing (literally). Apparently some carp had been caught up in the flood and no-one had bothered to rescue them. Never mind flooded houses and occupants - what about the fish!! For some reason the water was wrong..and the fish were lying dead in the water. An angler phoned up sounding unusually chirpy for someone who must have looked like a drowned rat. Apparently the raising of the rivers had not only increased fish stocks but introduced some new freshwater fish rarely found in these waters. The Presenter was admirable..erm Keith Arthur (below). Apparently it was all the fault of flood defence and Govts having the impertinence to build houses and concrete over greenery. GW scientists were talking phooey! Wise words indeed..and who better to tell us.  Keith you are Daz's Man of thee Week! |
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mimi
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Crumble, crumble
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Post by mimi on Jul 23, 2007 11:47:01 GMT
Don't worry Daz, "Prick up your ears" is a classic and the film was marvellous, owing to the script and Gary Oldman and the man who played Halliwell. Maybe because it was so honest. And yet I hated poor Kenneth Williams' confessions and couldn't finish his wretched book. Quality is quality, even if the subject matter is unappetising.
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on Jul 23, 2007 12:22:15 GMT
Alfred Molina played Halliwell.
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
a Child of the Matrix
Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on Jul 23, 2007 12:35:39 GMT
Yes Kipper and don't forget to tell the punters that these floods are different to previous ones, which were nearly always due to fast melting snow in spring combined with heavy rainfall. When was the last time Britain had summer flooding on such a scale (ignoring local events like Boscastle)? Well Daz? Get googling for that. Its a mere April shower compared to 1912...of course now you'll find some graph to prove the GW started in the Summer of 1912. |
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topsy
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Post by topsy on Jul 23, 2007 16:48:55 GMT
Couldn't the TV Companies save a lot of moey and time by using stock shots of reporters in wellies etc.? They all look exactly the same as last time, and the time before that, and the ti....
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kipper
Madrigal Member
The Capon Crusader
Posts: 2,101
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Post by kipper on Jul 23, 2007 19:59:02 GMT
Hi Mimi - hope you enjoy
Topsy Tewkesbury: "Couldn't the TV Companies save a lot of moey and time by using stock shots of reporters in wellies etc.? They all look exactly the same as last time, and the time before that, and the ti.... "
Top idea, Tops.
In fact many of the reporters could actually be replaced by a talking Wellie - thus saving heaps on salaries and "overnights"
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Dazz Sixsmith
I heard about the escaped carp ...there were dozens of Koi washed away from people's garden ponds - which must be the first time some Japanese have escaped from a UK camp. A Mister Lawence was most upset.
The Golf is the only thing that breaks up the Flood Fantango ...and it's quite interesting to switch from dull, miserable, wet and essentially distraught men... to more colourful reports from the Flood areas. ;D
Golf was only invented so that men could wear baseball caps without shame (they think)
There's only one thing sadder than being a Golfer ...and that's being someone who goes to watch golf...er..."live"
Presently, the Flood Watch is monitoring events in Oxford, Berkshire etc. This is the most newsworthy sections as folks in those counties have..like... curtains and money and ..er... ponies.
As half The Guardian staff live there - I expect a media blitz on ruined real-oak garden furniture and the like. There could be a Gazebo incident ..... which hopefully will be caught by a helicopter crew.
Most interesting interview:
Sexless, dyed-blonde Media hound in new waterproofs:
"So, you're preparing for the worst -- are you sandbagging?
Oxford housewife with new harido:
"Yes, we've heard the warnings and we're doing our best"
Media Hound: "..But I suppose you're insured ?"
Oxford "Oh yah, we're insured"
Media Hound: "Ha ha ha ha "
Oxford: "Ha ha ha ha"
Media Hound: "Back to you [bastards] in the studio"
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sandywinder
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The private sector makes boxes, the public sector ticks them
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Post by sandywinder on Jul 24, 2007 6:09:29 GMT
Yes Kipper and don't forget to tell the punters that these floods are different to previous ones, which were nearly always due to fast melting snow in spring combined with heavy rainfall. When was the last time Britain had summer flooding on such a scale (ignoring local events like Boscastle)? Well Daz? Get googling for that. Its a mere April shower compared to 1912...of course now you'll find some graph to prove the GW started in the Summer of 1912. That was mainly affecting only Norfolk, which as we all know is very flat and low lying anyway. The rainfall then was an accumulation of several days of rainfall. What we have had lately in the NE (a few weeks ago) and Severn/Avon/Thames valleys is very heavy rainfall over a short period. Totally different. The fact you have had to go back as far as 1912 to even get this miserable example shows I am telling thee truth. And it was not even a one-off. It has happened TWICE in a month. Completely unprecedented. |
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sandywinder
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Post by sandywinder on Jul 24, 2007 6:12:22 GMT
As half The Guardian staff live there.
Well that's cheered me up for the day. ;D
Thanks kipper.
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Daz Madrigal
lounge lizard
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Posts: 11,120
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Post by Daz Madrigal on Jul 24, 2007 10:27:57 GMT
Its a mere April shower compared to 1912...of course now you'll find some graph to prove the GW started in the Summer of 1912. That was mainly affecting only Norfolk, which as we all know is very flat and low lying anyway. The rainfall then was an accumulation of several days of rainfall. What we have had lately in the NE (a few weeks ago) and Severn/Avon/Thames valleys is very heavy rainfall over a short period. Totally different. The fact you have had to go back as far as 1912 to even get this miserable example shows I am telling thee truth. And it was not even a one-off. It has happened TWICE in a month. Completely unprecedented. How many times do you have to be told, Sandy. If you build car parks and cheap council housing on green belt land the water will not sink into the ground will it! Unlike 1912 and early there were no car parks, large suburbs but plenty of open land. The water sinks into it. You and the flooding have much in common - nothing sinks in now matter how often you and Gordon Brown are told. That twerp is now busy bringing in a policy to increase cheap housing - for immigrants presumably - quite drastically and on the same green belt land. |
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sandywinder
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Post by sandywinder on Jul 24, 2007 19:18:14 GMT
Yes Daz I know that. It doesn't need to sink in. But concreting the land is only one factor that exacerbates the problem.
The biggest factor is the rain.
Don't forget as well that nowadays we have much better weather forecasting than we did in 1912. So the authorities know what is coming and can prepare for it (in theory). Not that the useless bunch of council officials do much good in that regard.
For some reason our authorities are bog awful compared to other countries, as Gus will tell you. All our public sector managers are interested in are their massive salaries, generous holidays and fat pensions, as Gus won't tell you. ;D
Not only do we have better forecasts but we also have better equipment to deal with floods. Much better flood defences, provided they get where they are needed in time.
So we should be much better equipped to deal with floods than in the past.
The fact we are not is all due to the bloody incompetent useless state run by sleazy, unqualified, inexperienced twerps called MPs, who put their own pension and salary entitlements above flood defences.
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